The (he)art of a daughter of immigrants.

The (he)art of a daughter of immigrants.

20 Things I Learned Since Moving Out to College

In light of me just turning 20, I felt that it would be appropriate to share a few insights I've learned since I moved out of my parents' nest at the age of 18. Many of these lessons I've taken to heart my whole life, but some of them I had to learn in college the hard way.


Without further ado, here are the truths I've faced:

1- keep your friend circle small. The bigger it is, the more drama circles around. 

2- when someone in a conversation with you starts talking badly of someone you know, immediately change the subject or stop them. Hold them accountable for it. While we're on this note, avoid gossip in general, and avoid people who gossip. 

3- you will never get anything you want if you don’t ask for it. Sometimes that means you have to call the wifi network to fix your connection, or negotiate with your employers about higher pay or getting an assistant, or maybe simply asking for extra white rice at Chipotle. Regardless, you are the master of your fate, and asking the right questions can put the ball back in your court.

4- sadly, moving out doesn't necessarily buy your independence from parental rules, and quite frankly, neither does marriage per say. You want more freedom? Make money. Do not ask your parents for any financial assistance. Get a job. Pay for ALL of your stuff if you can. 

5- people who look like they have it all... don’t. Trust me. Every person has some sort of chaotic issue in their lives. 

6- when you feel overwhelmed, write lists. Stop trying to mentally keep track of every issue in your life, because you will forget something crucial. Take things step by step. Check things off as you go. 

7- as tempting as it is to pry in other people’s lives, always mind your damn business. Especially if you don’t know the person well. Give them the benefit of the doubt.

8- there'll be plenty of times when you feel lonely. Sometimes it's because your goals are different from everyone else around you. When that happens, you have to believe in yourself. You have to believe that whatever path you are walking on will lead you to success. All you have to do is make your intentions right, tell yourself you will succeed, and take action. By the guidance of God and Him alone, you will get there.

9- if someone asks you a question and you don’t know the answer, do not be afraid to say you don’t know, and that you’ll look it up to give it to them when you have it. Nowadays we are conditioned to feel that we need to have all of the answers already. There's no shame in initial ignorance, but make sure you seek the answers when you are lacking in them.

10- in class, do not be afraid to ask as many questions as you want. It’s YOUR grade. The teacher gets paid to make sure you understand what’s being taught. 

11- when it comes to boys... do not waste your time. If he’s not in for the long run, drop him like a bad habit. 

12- never compare your struggles to other peoples’. If you're in a supposedly better position than someone else, count your blessings. If you think you struggle more than a particular person, keep it to yourself, but still count your blessings. An attitude of gratitude truly goes a long way, and comparing yourself to others will always be your poison to happiness.

13- if you're trying to create changes in your life, the best way to do so is to think of those thoughts, speak them into existence, and then summon the energy to get it done. 

14- when controversial information about anything is presented to you, analyze it before you come to conclusions. 

15- before you buy it... see if there’s a cheaper one on amazon. 

16- McDonald’s coupon app is literally your best friend when you’re hungry and too tired to cook. 

17- when you’re feeling too lazy to be productive, find a friend who can hold you accountable and force you to get shit done.

18- on lonely days, a Facetime call to friends back home can cheer you up. 

19- you shouldn’t be afraid to take yourself out. Go out and buy yourself coffee, go to the bookstore, go to the movies, go to an event by yourself if you have to. Be comfortable eating by yourself. You don't even need to be on your phone; sometimes a few minutes spent in silence with your thoughts alone can do you well, and help you become more self-aware.

20- when you are happy, when you are overwhelmed, when you are anxious, when you are grateful... turn to Allah. Prayer will always be the first and best source of guidance. 



Sara Eddekkaki